The mark of my radicalism is upended many days with the word, “Daddy”! Right or wrong my radicalism has a new perspective. As my children get older and my marriage gets longer my revolutionary heart takes on a new norm. This could be a form of wisdom that I am possessing as I get older or it could be a solid fear that I have embraced unknowingly, nonetheless I have changed.
The need to be responsible outweighs the need to be heard here recently. As I think through my life and some of the stands that I have made, I wonder would I be reluctant to make those same stands today. One thing I know for sure- revolution and radicalism comes with a price. I have lost many jobs for taking stands for people who may or may not have done the same for me. It has damaged the financial stability in my home many times because I choose to make a stand for justice and right rather than going with the flow.
At the age of 39, I am rethinking things and how I engage. I am trying to be extremely mindful of what I engage and when. My nature is one of a tenacity to defend those who will not defend themselves. Americans in general tend to turn the other cheek when they see others being the victim of maltreatment but that has always disturbed me. Now, I wrestle with the extent of my involvement for justice at the price of my children eating. Yes, I still speak my mind but my approach has changed from confrontational to informing. I have come to grips with the fact that I am not the average 9-5 company man but I also understand some times you do what you have to do as a father.
I applaud those who make stands for justice at the price of losing financial opportunities-jobs, engagements, speeches, etc. It is a self fulfilling job but the fallout many times brings one to the brink of loneliness and misunderstanding. Many do not understand your call to service and label it as lunacy. They forgo the good you do but deep down they envy your life.
I think of Assata and many of the other revolutionary that made great sacrifices for many of the Africans trapped in these yet to be United States of America. They endured pain, prison and separation from loved ones in order to defend justice for us. (I marvel at their call to duty to be trailblazers that would lead them to short end of injustice.)
The work that many of the black radical/revolutionary preachers engaged in during the 1900’s left an edible mark on my life. They are the reason that I studied theology and continue to do so in pursuit of a pastorate. Their love for God was embodied in their love for black people. They lived on the very notion that God would bring freedom and they were willing to die for that very thing. Many suffered hardship as they developed comprehensive, theological paradigms to catapult blacks into freedom mentalities. They were men/women of intelligence as well as men/women of strength that never coward at the intimidation of racism.
I rest on the shoulders of such great theological minds that lived out their theology regardless of the sacrifice that it made upon their lives. I strive to carry on that prophetic tradition with the same dedication and excellence of such great elders-constant radical revolution.