For all intense purposes, I should be a bitter black man. I have trained for a position that I can’t secure a job within; I am without a full-time job; and I continue to read and see the injustices heaped upon black males with a myriad of other things as well. I have seen how the city of Philadelphia bombed the MOVE headquarters where black children were living. I have seen the blatant injustice around the Trayvon Martin case. I have seen countless video of young black males being killed by cops. I have read numerous articles, books and personal conversations with those who experienced Jim Crow, segregation and parts of slavery. Last but not least, I saw how the poor (a disproportionate amount of them were poor blacks)were subjugated to treatment as if they were criminals, exiled on the Isle of Patmos, known as the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina.

As I reflect on those things, I almost want to say what the f— is going on as I reconcile this is my mind. I am amazed that we have made it this far with such obvious resentment placed upon us-and when I say us I mean black folks. Yes, whites go through things at an alarming rate but they do not have to deal with that silent killer known as racism. Racism is an ingrained retardant that if not restructured mentally will cripple you. Everyday, I have to wrestle with the notion that my neighbors are calling me a nigger. (all of my neighbors are white) Everyday I have to wrestle with do I leave off certain schools on my resume because it will show that I am black. See, I am a proud graduate of Benedict College which would denote my blackness because it is a historical black College. These are by products of racism that as a black male ,I deal with on a daily basis.

Most read my blogs, tweets, posts would think that I am a racist because I appear to deal with black issues and racism on a consistent basis. Well, I am not a racist or spit racist taunts but I am a realest and there is no such thing as post-blackness. I grew up in a white city, went to a white high school but I am a black man that loves black people. That is not to say I hate others but I put such emphasis on that because of the way black people are treated via the media. It is almost a crime to love black people. My good friend Allen Love posted this today on Facebook

White unemployment is at 7%, Latino is at 10% and Black is at 13%. This is the pecking order of most statistics of distress. If you had three kids and one had a head cold, one had a chest cold and one had the flu. Even though, you loved all three equally would you not treat the child with the flu first. We have bought into this class system in America, The middle class is the largest voting class. Politics as usual as candidates position themselves for their vote. However, its the sickest in the Country that needs their issues addressed first. Biden said we build a stronger economy from the middle out. All that does is pushes the poor and working class tighter to the bottom. Any engineer will tell you to build from the ground up. Your floor must never give way or the whole system crumbles. The true wealth of our country is determined by the conditions of its poorest citizens. Disproportionately Black Americans are more apt to be a part of the working poor class. For me to become an Obama fan he will have to address this issue boldly.

This speaks volumes about the nature of how blacks are ostracized as unimportant in the big scheme of things. Our voice is not a viable source of dissent so there is no need to address any of the issues that they raise. It is disheartening to live in a nation where vigilance is the order of the day because you still feel a sense of uncertainty. Uncertain about whether someone is going to set you up or whether a white police man is going to pull you over, only to be feel threaten when I get out of the car and then shoots me. Not because I was violent or uncooperative but because I am black male.

This is how racism has developed a mentality in me that is hard to shake if not for the grace of God. It is the grace of God that keeps me level headed when I want to revert to making others suffer for all the atrocities that was placed upon black folks. It is the grace of God that allows me to assist my neighbors when I feel like deep down they talk about my family. It is the grace of God that allows me to give respect to a racist cop when he intentionally stops me for no reason. It is the grace of God that keeps me from saying though I place my schools on my resume it will not hinder me from finding gainful employment.

Truthfully, I have no clue other than the grace of God on why I have not snapped. As I look back over the course of my life, I have missed many opportunities because of racist intentions but somehow God brings those very things back to my doorstep. I am more cautious than I sometimes recognize because I know the outcome if I get to far off the beaten path. But I submit to you the permanence of racism definitely stretches the limits of god’s grace in my life, at least from my standpoint.