It is amazing how you can chronicle your life based upon the songs you are listening too at the moment-Hard Times by Run-DMC. For the past two months, I have been economically challenged. It has at times caused me to slip into a mild depressive state at a moment’s notice. I sojourn to the mailbox on a daily basis with this mystical hope that some sort of good news lies within some white envelop but to no avail.
It will leave you in a state of mind, wondering the implications of faith-does God not love me or is he trying develop so sort of pedagogical moment. Either way you shape it those moments leave you suspended in time. You lose sight of the normality and the everyday humdrum of living through serendipitous melancholy. Life begins to take upon itself a new flavor. Defining moments become just that “defining moments.” You are now at the place where you have to re-define the existence of your life. You are disconnected from the thrills but connected to pain. It is amongst this very presence of pain that the revolutionary act of change forces it way to the forefront of your life. You are forced to define the very essence and core for your existence. Did God allow this mishap or did you create the circumstance through your own deeds?
This looming question of faith rests upon the notion that the sovereign God is sovereign. God’s allowance of hardship serves as a perpetual tool of guidance. He is in control but not in demand.
So thus God is not necessarily obligated to assist me but he is at least concerned with me. (The emphasis is placed upon the “me.”)In the midst of all chaos God only concern is me. The challenges are meaningless and finances are futile in his big scheme to help me re-define. The issue comes when I am more concern with the perpetual tool rather than the essence of God.
My re-definement is stored in his essence. So if I forgo his essence or try to circumvent his process I up- end my defining moment. But, he knew that I would do such a thing from the beginning so there is a built in moment that allows for repentance.
Repentance must be the defining moment…
One thought on “Defining Moments: My Attempt to Understand God”
Nice ! I feel you Bruh, I feel you!